When I wrote yesterday’s post I took my time and only wrote for short bursts. Each paragraph written was another emotional step. So that’s why it took so long to write. I was prepared for that which is why I was so measured.
However, what I wasn’t prepared for was just how intensely I would feel when I clicked “Publish”. It was a body-blow. I cried and felt every word that I wrote all at once…as well as the words I left unwritten. I was simultaneously back in the moment of the abuse as well as the moment I comprehended it.
I went to bed feeling pretty raw and exposed.
Since then I’ve been sent messages after message of support and love. I’m in no doubt that there are vastly more good people in the world than bad.
So today called for de-stressing and fun diversions. What good fortune that the local show is on this weekend. It started today. It was the perfect place to go to just put my feelings on the shelf for a few hours and be transported to a world of carnival rides and innocent wonderment. Eating naughty food that can really only be consumed once a year and wasting money throwing a ball into a clown’s mouth seems to have the power to reset everything…if only for a few hours.