Since my last post, where I was suffering from writer’s block, I’ve managed to do a little study…although not as much as I would have liked.
I’ve mucked around with the girls at work. They are a great group of girls and they manage to put a smile on my face everyday. I love my job but I love it even more now since I have the opportunity to work with such fantastic girls. I feel 15 years younger when we all get together on our breaks.
Last night I wore an outfit that had been planned since the previous Saturday night’s Mass. One of the other parishioners has a style that I really admire. She always looks great and has awesome shoes. We decided that in honour of Palm Sunday we would wear all black outfits with just a little dash of red (the liturgical colour of the day). I opted to go for a red rose. I also had tiny red rose earrings and red patent leather peep-toe high heels. I felt a million dollars! The funny thing was that the lady that I’d concocted this all with wasn’t even there! D’oh!
Today is Palm Sunday. The start of Holy Week. It is one of the most important weeks in the church year. We begin with the triumphant entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. The crowds worshipped Him and laid down their cloaks and greenery along His path. As the week progresses, the mood turns to betrayal and death. Then triumph again as He rises on Easter Sunday.
This weekend I cantored the psalm at Mass. It is a heartbreaking psalm that I hate to sing because it usually makes me cry. I kept myself composed this year…in public at least. I saved my tears for when I was alone. The refrain draws on Jesus’ words as he cried out on the cross: “My God! My God! Why have you abandoned me?”
At certain times in our lives we feel abandoned. Abandoned by our friends, our family, God. I’m not saying I feel abandoned or forsaken but I do feel a little disconnected with the world right now. As I sang that sorrowful psalm last night and played it on the organ for another cantor today, I couldn’t help but feel the echo of His cry in my heart.
Life has its ups and downs and, I assure you, my downs are nothing like what Christ faced but it’s worth remembering that everyone has their cross to bear. The cross might not be so obvious but we all have our burdens.
As I look to the week ahead and the tasks I have set before me my heart feels tight with anxiety. I am anxious that the music for Holy Week and Easter is perfect and supports the liturgy and brings us all closer to God. This is only one of the anxieties weighing on me at the moment. These thoughts and anxieties, these burdens, they are my cross to bear. And bear it I shall.
I pray that God gives me the strength to bear it. However, putting things into perspective and remembering what Christ did for me, perhaps my little burdens aren’t so great after all.