It’s been a few days since I posted a blog and I’m not even in a blogging mood right now. Far from it. However, I have uni work to do tonight but I’m so unmotivated that I thought I’d pour out my soul here so that my mind is clear to concentrate on my presentation on Grounded Theory which is due tomorrow. Not sure if that’s actually going to work but I’m going to give it a go.
So, to catch up…
Here’s Friday’s #dailyimage2011…
I called it “Shadow of myself” because that’s how I felt that day. As I get more immersed into the academic world I feel like I’m drifting away from reality to the point that I’m just a shadow of myself.
My reason for returning to study is an honourable one. I have an idea that has the potential to improve the delivery of patient care in the area of mental health. My motivation is reasonably altruistic although there is the added personal benefit of accomplishment so I suppose it’s not entirely selfless.
Saturday was a very busy day. I attended the annual St Patrick’s Parade in Brisbane. My father was one of the founding committee members who brought this parade back to life in 1990 after a multi-decade hiatus. Since then, my father, mother and I have been invited guests and have stood on the dais and waved and cheered as the parade passes by. My dad died back in 2001 but Mum and I are still invited and we still support the parade as we always have.
St Patrick’s Day is an important day for me. It is not a day for getting drunk or even for wearing green clothing. It is a day to remember the message of St Patrick. I usually wear a green ribbon pinned to my clothes and a representation of a shamrock (usually shamrock lapel pin and jewellery). Here’s the look I sported on Saturday for the parade [right].
On Saturday night I went to Mass. Once a month, I conduct the choir at the regular 6pm Mass. I had intended to do just that but when I got there I saw that the keyboard had been uncovered and was turned on. So I decided to do something a little different. Our accompanist played the organ as usual but this time I played harmonies on the keyboard. We were also blessed to have a very talented young man play the violin (he often plays oboe) and our lovely and talented seminarian played drums. The combined sound was so beautiful and uplifting that many people commented and I think we all felt swept up in the music. I know that music brings me closer to God and I certainly hope that our playing and singing did that for the congregation that night.
When I got home, I had a Skype conversation with my very dear friend, Rachel. So it seemed right that I should capture that as my #dailyimage2011 [left]. I think this image captures the laughter and happiness in the mundane that can only be found by close friends. I cherish friendships like these. I don’t think life would really be worth living without good friends. I was unable to help a friend in need earlier in the day and it had been weighing on my mind so it was good to have this moment of joy with Rachel.
Sunday was promised to uni work. So it was a case of “head down, bum up”. I got a fair amount done, although not completed as I had hoped…that is tonight’s task. The image “Busy Fingers” sums it up [right].
And now for today. Monday.
Today I made a presentation to some senior nursing staff. I hadn’t really prepared very much but I was very comfortable with the subject material. Quite the opposite of what I face tonight as I finish my uni presentation for tomorrow. I have studied. I have read. I have reread. And still I’m not very sure of myself. I have no problem with public speaking. I have no problem with public anything, actually! I’d live life in a glass box given half a chance. My problem is only in the content. I’ve been out of the academic world for seven years and I have had only 14 days to, as one of my previous secretaries put it, “get my sh*t in a pile”! (I always hear that phrase spoken with a strong South African accent)
So, with that, I return to the papers that aren’t reading themselves.
My Lenten promise to get my priorities in order seems to be holding firm. I pray I can continue to hold fast to the things that matter most. To be a true and honest friend, to be conscientious and dedicated to my work and study, to bear witness to God in my daily life.